One day after some monasteries and hiking in Tibet, our guide Dawa told us that we had time for a boat ride. We were all game for a relaxing boat ride. We arrived at a dirty, greasy, mostly abandoned collection of mud houses next to the river. We “negotiated” with the boss to rent our own boat for about $30 USD. We had to wait for a half hour or so. While we waited I watched a cow eat about 50 cigarette butts and some cardboard on the shore.
The Vessel
When the boat arrived Chinese people also got on the boat and the skipper told Dawa that they were locals and we would drop them at the other shore. The “locals” told us they were from Shanghai. About 10 minutes into the “River Cruise” and after some intense questioning of Dawa, I realized we were on the local ferry to the other side of the river. So now, everyone was hungry and realizing the River Cruise was about 1/10th as cool as we thought and we had another 2 hours to Lhasa, a hot shower and a cold beer.
The Skipper
The ferry terminus was a mud bank with a few trees and about 30 people who wanted to go to where we came from. I told Dawa that the mud bank was great and that we should go back to the collection of mud huts immediately. Meanwhile all 30 people on the shore started lobbying to ride on the boat back to the mud huts. Intense negotiations ensued. I was still wondering why Dawa thought this would be a good idea. My only requirement was that the people we took back would not exceed 5 in number (so we would not drown in icy Tibetan waters).
The Negotiations
We asked the skipper if we could leave and boarded the boat in an effort to avoid confrontation. Things were getting a little volatile and our non-decision efforts were probably making it worse. Just then, the local Chinese cops rolled up in a 4x4. Tibetan jail was imminent. The cops got out, swaggered through the crowd and got on the boat. The crowd said nothing. We said nothing. The cops sat down and started staring at us. The driver put out his smoke and started pushing us off the mud bank. It seemed that these guys just wanted to get to the other side like everyone else. Our big problem of who to take was solved! I was pretty happy to be involved with police corruption at that point. I was still a little nervous though, as in, I really did not want to go to Tibetan jail.
Eventually the coppers offered us cigarettes. It was like those movies where you get a smoke before they torture you. In our case, the decision to accept the gift of cancer sticks made us instant buddies with the cocky peace keepers. Actually, in China, turning down an offer of a cigarette can be seen as rude as it is a gift and most dudes really don’t know or care about cancer.
The Fuzz
Upon arrival at the mud huts, we said thanks and got the heck out of there in case these guys changed their mind about our freedom. We blew by the cigarette eating cow, piled into the SUV and told the driver to step on it. But act cool. No looking in the rear view mirror.
We went from pissed and hungry, to irritated and facing potential drowning on an overcrowded boat, to a Tibetan jail sentence to buddies with the local law all in the course of an hour. While it all turned out be ridiculous and fun at the same time, I still have not figured out why Dawa thought we should pay 30 bucks to ride a ferry to a mud bank….China Wins Again!
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