Friday, December 4, 2009

Beer Robots

Hello from Tokyo!


Dear friends-

If you are still reading this internet blog website, way to go. I still have more stuff to write. So we both win.

Since I came back to America, I have been spending a lot of time on airplanes going back to China and Taiwan as well as to California to tell the bosses what happened in China and Taiwan. It's pretty funny because the bosses believe I have some kind of Asia magic when in fact, I am missing 4,000 years of cultural training which makes me essentially clueless when it comes to understanding Asian insanity.

Anyway, back to the airplane. For the trouble of enduring long hours stripping down for rent-a-cops and touching elbows with strangers, you collect enough frequent flyer miles to become an "elite" flyer. They sent me an email that said "congratulations" on your new status. Way to go me. That's like congratulating the tractor driver at the dump on making the biggest pile of trash. Well done!

At least that is how I felt before.

On this last trip to China land, I had a connection in Tokyo. I had no idea before, but my frequent flyer card gets me into the lounge in the Tokyo airport. The lounge is pretty cool because the waiting area is jam packed with people from every country in Asia. That means no body space, no lines and lot of yelling into phones, at each other and at the gate agents. But much like when the guns finally stop firing on Luke's x-wing fighter on the Death Star run, you bust through the madness of the waiting area and roll in the luxury of the lounge.

I don't think I have written much about Japan in the past. We have an office in Japan so I have done a few business trips there and I went there once for a long weekend (Japan is freaking expensive when you don’t have an expense account). One thing to know about Japan in comparison to China is that while China is entering the modern world, they are still operating in a zone comparable in some ways to the US in the 50's (or maybe the turn of the last century). Japan in contrast is basically the freaking future. It is an ultra-efficient, ultra-modern, ultra-polite, ultra-clean utopia. At least a Japanese version of utopia. Their electronics are so cutting edge that they aren't available anywhere else but Japan. They have automatic everything. My friend has actually had his hair cut by a robot before. Granted he has an Asian bowl cut, but still.

So back to the lounge. Not only was I pumped to be out of the insane waiting area at the airport. But I was also overhelmed by the fact that they have self serve beer. And in further proof that Japan is the future, it isn't really self serve, because it is actually a beer robot. You place your glass in the machine, it tips the glass for a perfect pour, tips in back to level and dispenses a nice head of foam to top it off. I was almost laughing because I was so excited once I figured out what I was supposed to do. Unfortunately the tiny Japanese lady next to me did not want to high five the awesomeness of the beer robot.

So I chugged probably more glasses of Asahi than I should have due 1) the awesomeness of the beer robot and 2) the looming Chinese flight with the inevitable pushing, yelling and people pulling stuff out of the overhead just before take-off.

Sorry that is probably too long of a story to just to tell you about a beer dispenser but I thought it was cool. So in conclusion, while the communists may be riding the white hot economic miracle (or house of cards; you choose), they will have to suck on the fact that Japan has beer robots. And trust me, once you realize the genius of the Japanese beer robot, you also will feel that your overall quality of life is lacking….

Maybe I will write some shorter stories later….

Cheers!