First Thoughts

Dear Friends-

I think the communists are okay with this blog website. I tested it and it seems to work. I hope that people will enjoy what I have to write and find it a good way to keep in touch. I wrote this a week and half after arriving in Shanghai so I am putting it on this blog website a little late.

I’m not sure what happened, but here I am. It is all a bit surreal. For those that don’t know, my company has an office in Shanghai and asked if I would help them set up operations here. It seemed like perfect timing considering I was being kicked out of my Portland apartment and my car was starting only occasionally.

Shanghai was sunny and a little cold when I got here. Now it is turning rainy and a lot cold. It’s weird that this place is the same latitude as Florida but it is so cold. I think I need to get a big wool overcoat and one of those hats with big flaps on the sides. That is what most of the security guards wear. The usual security guard goes about a buck twenty and doesn’t do much besides lift a gate and yell at people. I’m sure they do more and I hope to find out what that is.

Since the plan is for me to be in Shanghai for one year, I need to get a work permit and residency visa. So the first thing I had to do was go for a medical check up. My company hired someone to take me to the doctor. It was a clinic that was jam packed with foreigners and locals. The foreigners are trying to get into China and the locals are trying to get out. Both require medical exams. I had to check in, go to a waiting room, check in again, check in again and then I finally went to the doctors. There were probably about 40 people going through the triple check-in process. After a while you make it into the exam place where they make you strip down and throw on a robe. There are nurses who then direct you to a series of rooms.

The first doctor took my blood with a needle that was probably clean. Then she made me sit on a stool in the corner for 3 minutes. After the 3 minutes she sent me to another room where a lady checked my eyes, ears, nose and throat. She was pumped when I could see the last E. I had an ultrasound, an x-ray, and an EKG. In the EKG room, there were two ladies who put some kind of rusty clamps on my ankle and wrists. Then they wanted to put those things on my chest to check my heart beat I think. They had some kind of malfunction though, so the older lady grabbed a pair of pliers and started doing field repairs while using my stomach as a workbench. She got it working and ended up with some sort of readout that they had to look at for a while before yelling at me in Chinese and giving me my chart back. The medical check-up was actually a pretty smooth process. I just hope I don’t have AIDS or abnormal liver function. They send you home for both of those.

After the check up, Vivian (my handler), took me to my apartment to get the keys. There I met Frank, Vivian’s employee who would be my new handler for the remainder of the day. Frank was there with the landlords. They are both about 5 feet tall, 70 years old and they are both eye doctors. They both had on huge wool overcoats, scarves and gloves. Apartments in China are rarely owned by a single operator. They are individually owned and the owners agree to let a management company run the whole tower. As such, each unit could have completely different prices and amenities. My apartment is fully furnished and should suffice for my stay in Shanghai. The first thing that Dr. Lu wanted to make sure I understood was the operation of the TV. He made me sit on the couch and showed me the various remotes. I can see why he was so pumped as the system includes a 42 inch plasma with surround sound and satellite. My place is on the 15th floor with a view of the garden and pond. There is a doorman who is pretty cool. He always smiles when I say hello in Chinese. I’m not sure if he thinks it’s cool or funny. Probably both. The apartments are called “La Doll”. I don’t know who thought of that name but they are pretty nice

After meeting Dr. and Dr. Lu, Frank and I went to IKEA. There I purchased a mattress pad and some towels. Apparently, the Chinese version of a bed is the same as our version of a box spring. There is no way I am sleeping on a box spring for a year. I asked Frank about this and he said sometimes he will get tired of the box spring and decide to sleep on the floor.

We then went to the police station nearby the apartment. As part of the residency process, you need to register with the neighborhood cops. It took about a half hour to find the cop station. Frank asked the guard at the apartments where it was, he called the cops, he asked the crossing guard, he asked a window cleaner and he asked a clerk coming out of the store who promptly gave him a Chinese ass-chewing. After we walked in a complete circle, he asked two more security guards who yelled at each other for a while before sending us down an alley that was under repair. By this time it was dark, cold and we were in an alley in a country where I have no idea what is going on. We walked around parts of torn up road, people selling nuts, yams and corn, people selling blankets and then, right next to a guy who was tearing up some furniture on the sidewalk, there was the police station. If I ever have a problem, I will never find the cop station again. It is in an alley in an alley. Frank did a bunch of paperwork with the cops who kept yelling at Frank and at each other. After a while, they let us go. Now they know where I am. I will make sure I don’t screw up.

So, my first day consisted of poking, prodding, fish head soup and big brother keeping his communist thumb on me. Not bad really.

My chopstick skills need improvement. In the first two days I was here I ruined a pair of pants and a jacket. I keep losing the slippery stuff. It is usually slippery because of the oil and when the oil lands on your clothes it is hard to get out. I will either figure it out or I will be buying lots of clothes over the next year. I have started wearing my ruined jacket to lunch so I don’t ruin my work clothes. I would like to purchase some things I can cook at home but I can’t read the packaging on anything in the store. So far, all I have purchased is milk, cereal, beer, peanuts and lots of bottled water. The good thing is that there are all kinds of restaurants near my apartment. I found a fish head soup place, a Sichuan place and a burger joint. Tonight, I ate a full bowl of Korean pork, a bunch of vegetables and a big beer for 4 bucks. I think it might be cheaper to let other people cook than buy it at the store.

The other night there were three little tiny girls at the restaurant all trying to ask me something in different ways. It all centered around my request for a Tsing Tao beer which I can order by name. They finally brought out the bottle and made me feel it. It turns out that they wanted to know if I wanted warm beer or cold beer. Even if I could speak the language I’m sure there would still be a lot of confusion on that one (who wants warm beer?). I guess some people like their beer warm when it is cold out; whatever. But me and the three little tiny girls laughed our heads off after about 10 minutes of speaking to each other with no idea what the other person was saying. That was pretty cool. I need to start classes ASAP to make my life easier.

I have learned how to tell the cab driver where I live and which way turn and when to stop. That is a big stress reliever. I keep a map with me when I go somewhere I haven’t been yet but it sucks bad when you are in the cab and you have no idea where you are and you are desperately hoping the guy understood what you said. People do not speak English in my neighborhood. I will start classes next week. It is not cool when someone asks you a question and you have no idea what they are saying. For the most part though I have been able to enter a restaurant, order a full meal and never hear a word of English. Communication is mostly by hand motions. They think it is pretty freaking funny when I mimic what they say though.

Right now I think Shanghai is really cool. Just walking around the block is exciting. I think everyone should put it on their calendar to get over here in the spring or fall. By then I will know some words and restaurants. You will have a free place to stay and a tour guide for Shanghai. I’ve had flights for $800 and $1,000. Things are anywhere from ridiculously expensive to ridiculously cheap here. It just depends on if you want to shop at the Gucci store and eat at the Ritz or eat dumplings from a street vendor, buy 50 cent beers in the store and haggle for fake goods.

That is all I think all I have for now. There is a lot more I could and probably should write but it is like drinking from a fire hose. If I can figure out what blogs the communists are cool with, I will set one up.

I hope that everyone who receives this mail is well and please don’t hesitate to drop me a line.

Shenzhen

This week my company sent me to Shenzhen. I would equate Shenzhen to the Wild West. It was designated as a Special Economic Zone by Deng Xiaoping in 1979. It is right next to Hong Kong so it is kind of tropical. There are green hills and red flowers everywhere. Somehow though, with 10 million in the city and maybe another 7 million in surrounding areas, it has become a dirty concrete jungle. With companies from all over the world setting up shop here it has become a full on gold rush. Apparently it is loaded with criminals. The first thing people told me was to keep a tight grip on my wallet as pickpockets are rampant. People from the country come to Shenzhen with high hopes only to be disappointed and thus turn to crime. Some guy told me that they just increased the penalty for chopping off people's arms to get at their purses or bags. Luckily I was in good company and traveling in places that were fairly tame.

In Shenzhen, I trained people as to the best way to replace me. After I got done training my replacements, the sales guys took me to dinner. We went to a cool little place nearby the office. They told that the big reader board in front of the restaurant says "No Japanese". Wow. It was some kind of cave/tropical/pirate them. Our servers all had penned on mustaches. They were cool though as we clearly were not Japanese. The food was great and loaded with peppers.

People seem to be uniformly amazed that I like spicy food and that I can use chopsticks. I still have servers dropping off forks for me. At first I found it insulting, but now I think it is nice of them to be thoughtful like that. I never use the forks though.

After dinner at the Pirate Cave, we went to a bar where we met some other sales people. They told me it was time for a drinking game. I have not played drinking games since I was in college and I asked them if they were serious. They were. It is a dice game. It is like liars poker but I won’t go into details as to how to play other than to say it is like most drinking games in that you end up drinking. After getting over my shock that full grown adults wanted to play a drinking game I looked around and realized that almost everyone in the bar was shaking these dice. Luckily the beer is low alcohol and you just have to take a sip or two if you lose. It was actually kind of slow and a good way to socialize with new people.

The bar food was popcorn and duck tongues. The girl sitting next to me kept telling me what we were eating in Chinese and pointing at her tongue. I thought she was either picking up on me or telling me pronunciation sucked. It turns out she was telling me I was eating the tongue of a duck. It was actually really good bar food. It was kind of spicy but not too filling.

After playing dice for a while, we took a cab to the Chinese equivalent of a Taco Bell. We sat outdoors as the weather in Shenzhen is quite nice in January. After some tea and noodles, I needed to use the restroom. Through a chain of translation, they told me I should use the trash pile in the alley. The alley was filled with rats. A rat scurried out of the TV I was relieving myself on but returned to his home after I was done. Shenzhen is the Wild West.

Paying Chinese Bills

In China, you pay your utility bill at grocery store. Or maybe the Chinese equivalent of a 7-11. I have to ask my co-worker Sabrina what my mail is. She told me I have a water bill that I need to pay at the 7-11. The bill is for 2 dollars. The trouble is, I couldn't find a market that would take the bill. I guess they need to be approved bill collectors or something. I have been walking around with this two dollar bill for about a week now. I kept going into stores and showing them the bill. They would tell me a bunch of stuff in Chinese and point at the bill. I would nod my head and when it was pretty clear they weren't taking my money, I would say thanks and leave. I have no idea what is going on. I finally found a place about the size of my bedroom that took the bill. I just hope I didn't get scammed for two bucks and have to go to communist jail for not paying my water bill.

Transportation

Shanghai is an exciting town. I am living right down town so stepping out of the apartment complex is an adventure in itself. It is very important to look all ways before crossing the street. Most people are pretty new to driving and the road system seems to be at maximum capacity. As money flows into Shanghai, the hottest commodity for a middle class Chinese person is a car. The consequence is pure insanity on the streets. Busses are the number one priority; they do not stop for anything. Taxis are out of control as well. I have learned that the drivers work 24 hours at a time. So if you are taking a late night cab, you should ask the guy a lot of questions to make sure he is awake. The problem I have is that I don't know how to ask a question. I guess if I babble in English the guy will be too annoyed to fall asleep.

Bikes are still a major means of transportation in Shanghai. They mix into the insanity as if they are on a Sunday bike ride. No helmets, no night lights, not really looking around; just weaving in and out of oncoming cars and pedestrians. There are actually quite large bike lanes but as they tear up streets to accomodate the massive amount of cars, the bikes are forced to go on roads that they shouldn't be on. Bikes are also a common means of transporting anything from bottled water to refrigerators.

My main means of transportation has been my feet. I haven't been doing much jogging but I am not too worried about it because I walk everywhere. And going for a walk is the opposite of boring. I am rubbernecking the whole time. Going to the market is an adventure. I was thinking I need to do some tourism, but right now I am tourist in my own neighborhood so I am not too stressed about it.