Dealing with Traffic Accidents in Taiwan

Here are some tips for dealing with traffic accidents in Taiwan. Specifically when you rear end someone while trying to wedge into traffic.


Firstly, as in any traffic incident, don't panic. Even if you have to do some paper work or visit the cops, your Taiwan friends will go with you and do all the talking.


Number 2, since it is raining, hang out in your car for a while. This lets the victim of your carelessness realize he is getting wet while staring at the minimal damage. Hanging out for a while also lets the traffic jam grow while the poor guy tries to figure out what to do.


Number 3, and most important, when you finally get out of the car, speak ONLY English. This is very important. Not only will the guy panic when he sees you are a foreigner, he will literally freak out when you speak English very quickly. He will blank out on any lessons he ever took.

You should say, "Ohman, I am really sorry because I just woke up and was trying to do the radio and check Blackberry and wave goodbye to the parking attendant all at the same time but the good news is that both of our bumpers are so mangled already that it is impossible to see any damage and that is what bumpers are for anyway right?"

This final tactic should be the hammer as the guy is wet, people are honking and he is already not really sure what to do.

It is okay to feel good when he literally runs back to his car and drives away quickly. You have saved time for yourself, the guy and your co-worker that would have had to talk to the cops.

So there are a few tips. Just in case.

Hunger

Maybe it's time to come home.





I was driving to Taipei yesterday morning. Along the way, I passed a truck full of pigs. That's not unusual since pork is the most common meat. What was different this time is that their big ears flapping in the wind actually made me hungry.





I sort of lost concentration and started salivating on the big floppy ears. Later, we went to the restaurant that had chopped pig ear for appetizers. Its quite tasty when prepared properly.





What happened to me?

Mmmm....Pig Ear.....

I Can Read Chinese

This weekend I was brushing my teeth. The toothpaste has a picture of a smiling guy with a bow tie and a top hat. I didn’t think too much of it. The toothpaste works and it was on sale.


I've been using it for a while but it wasn't until recently that I could recognize some Chinese words so while brushing my teeth I started looking at the words on the tube.



I could recognize the words "Man" and "Black". What? Yes, that's right, the toothpaste is called "Black Man Toothpaste". I had to ask someone if I was reading this properly. Surely, you couldn’t launch a blatantly racist ad campaign in a country as civilized as Taiwan. Turns out that you can and I have been unkowningly using racist toothpaste for months. No cavities though.


Black Man Toothpaste

Trouble With the Law

I got a speeding ticket. The only problem is that it was 3 months ago, the first week I had a car. So now I am paranoid that I have a bunch of tickets over the last 3 months that I don't know about yet. They have cameras everywhere that snap your picture if you go 10 kmh over the limit. That's like getting caught doing 36 mph in a 30 mph zone so it is easily done. It's also a problem when you aren't really sure what the speed is and there aren't any cars around.

My co-workers pointed out the sign that warns you that a camera is coming up. All in chinese. Sweet. I couldn't ever figure out why people were going pedal to the metal and then would suddenly jam on the brakes for no reason. I was taking that as my cue to go around the crappy driver with no sense of maintaining speed. Oops.

The good news is that the ticket is only $50 USD (assuming the USD doesn't continue to tank). I have to pay at the local 7-11. I think the girl behind the counter is going to get to know me and my legal troubles pretty well.

Some Photos

Recently flooded rice field near my house.

Yer another field. These water logged fields are excellent mosquito incubators. That means I have to go on mosquito patrol before bed every night. Nothing worse than buzzing in your ear right before you fall asleep.






Lion's Head Mountain- A trail network with a bunch of temples.

View at Lion's Head. Cool pagoda.
Huge temple up there in the mountains.

I didn't know you could headbang in Buddhist heaven.

Check out the earlobes.

Lobes.

That is my office on the left. We have our own farm. Well it is not really my company's farm but I guess "zoning" is relative so things are all mixed up. I like to watch the farmer on my break sometimes and I am pretty sure that stuff he sprays is not organic.

We also have our own chicken. The only explanation I have been able to get is that he is good for eating centipedes.

Also next to the office we have a pretty cool gate and a guard dog. Don't worry, he is just sleeping. Actually all he does is sleep in the street, bark at cars and show up in the restaurant to eat left over pork chops. I am jealous.

Elections and a Few Photos.

Taiwan Resident who made me think of Elections




Guess what, America is not the only place that needs a new president. As much as the news wants you to think that Hillary and Obama will either save America or squabble away certain victory, there are other countries that have presidents. Taiwan is one of them.

So allow me to bring you up to speed:

Taiwan bugs China, so China has aimed a whole bunch of missiles at the island.



Missile Defense System

Taiwan likes money, so they are one of the largest direct foreign investors in China (that means Chinese people get more jobs and don’t riot).

The current Taiwan president has spent a lot of time saying Taiwan is its own country. This angers China a lot and that scares a lot of people on the island (remember the missiles). Plus, if China blows this place up, it will be hard to keep making money in China. Not to mention that it would be blown up.

So, they had an election and believe it or not, the guy who keeps angering China and its army, well, his party lost. A guy won who thinks Taiwan should be more friendly with China and its money making opportunities. People like this because they like money and they don’t like being carpet bombed. I heard one guy call it “supply-chain diplomacy”. Anyway, this new guy starts in a couple of months. It might make people ease off on their conspiracy theories that China is going to attack right after the Olympics.

Here are some funny “facts” that are probably close to reality but I don’t care to look up for sure. It was Taiwan’s 4th democratic election. The current president got shot the day before the last election 4 years ago and people honestly think it was staged for the sympathy vote. They had something like 75% turnout this time. People can’t vote by mail-in, so thousands of citizens flew in from other countries to vote. The 75% turnout was lower than last time. I think it is kind of like a new toy; since it is only the 4th time had a democratic election, people are still pumped about voting.

Enough. Since Taiwan people are so passionate about voting, they sometimes riot (and try to assassinate candidates). I was scheduled to go to our office in the south and then do tourism but my co-workers made me wait until after the elections in case of rioting. There was no rioting and I ended up in the south last weekend. I stayed in a Taiwan version of a resort town. Which is a little dirtier, noisier and more crowded than you might like but still warm and fun. It is called Kenting; all the at the southern tip of Taiwan. Enjoy some photos.

OK Hill Hotel- Notice the Astro-turf

Some bird.

Coral Beach

A little noisy with jet skis but still nice.

Swimming lessons aren't big over here.

I like the picture of the snake.

Chinese version of Paradise.

A Few More Photos

I guess it was a special day a couple days ago. People told me it was the last day of the Lunar New Year Festival and it was the Lantern Festival. The only thing is I am not really sure if they are supposed to fall on the same day or not. I heard 3 different versions of the timing. I should have tried out my Chinese language to get down the timing of the days, but then I don't really care that much.

What I do care about is big time fireworks. For some reason, it is more important to scare the demons on this day than on the first day of the New Year Festival. So all of the 7-11's stocked up with the best bombs money can buy. I walked downtown for the festivities. People were getting hit with fireworks left and right. I saw one mom yelling at her little boy because apparently he had the mortars aimed the wrong way.

People were launching launching paper lanterns with flames that gave them lift. It was really cool to watch all of these red glowing lanterns floating over the city with fireworks going off everywhere. I guess no one is worried where they come down or what they might burn to the ground when they do. Sorry, I couldn't get a good photo.

I did get some photos of some Joes with an arsenal in the middle of an intersection. They had some blow torches and an endless supply of serious fireworks flowing out of the mini-mart. I am not sure who was more at risk, the pedestrians, the firework technicians or the motorists. Enjoy: